Positioned To Follow - The Beauty In Allowing God to Lead You
No doubt, I am probably going to be the reason why therapists remain gainfully employed. I had NO CLUE what I was doing in raising my older sons (Ajanni-17, Messiah-15 and Jahir-12). I raised them to the best of my abilities based off what I saw in the world, and not what the Bible says. I wasn’t a follower of Jesus back then. Truthfully, I experimented with a lot of different religions during this time for various reasons, but in doing so, I exposed my sons to different lifestyle values which I deeply regret. To add to the confusion, I was a single mom trying to raise men. I wanted my sons to understand the importance of work; in error, I placed more of a premium on working outside of the home and providing financially, then on working inside the home in the nourishing of their spirits and minds. I relied heavily on daycare and public education to raise my children. Despite all of this, my three older sons are great children! Because where I failed, God filled in, hallelujah! And I thank God that He is a God of another chance! He has since given me two more children, and the supernatural strength to rely on Him only as I put my family above my finances!
So here I am today; a married mother with 5, FIVE CHILDREN! That tickles me every time I think about it (or in this case, write it) for several reasons. First, I never thought I’d be married. Second, although I wanted a lot of children, I determined within myself that I was not going to have any more children out of wedlock. But look at how God answers prayers 😊 The Reina that I am today is only because God is faithful to give us the desires of our hearts, and I am grateful to Him!
But even though I got the desires of my heart, I am sometimes overwhelmed by it. How many of ya’ll can relate to that? Yes, this is what I wanted...on paper and in theory! But walking it out in real life is sometimes harder than I anticipated! Sometimes I ask God, why me? Why did You give me these particular 5 children? I don't ask because I am ungrateful or unappreciative. I ask usually when I’m overwhelmed and need extra reassurance that I’m positioned where He wants me to be, doing the things which He wants me to be doing. Each time, He lovingly answered,
“For I know you, that you will command your children and your household after you, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Reina and her family that which He has spoken of them” – Genesis 18:19 KJV.
How amazing is that? God, the Maker of all things seen and unseen, knows that I, and every other mother who He has led to this blog, will command our children and household in His ways! He trusts us and counts us worthy, even in our imperfections, to be the nurturers and teachers of His next generation of royal priests! That’s MAJOR and I don’t know about ya’ll, but I know I’m not taking His assignment for granted. I don’t want to mess this up and allow me being overwhelmed be the reason that I fail to do what He has called and positioned me to do!
"He leads and I follow"
Recently, He’s impressed upon me the need to begin homeschooling Empress, my 2-year-old daughter. We do the basics; numbers, letters, counting, shapes. But I am also teaching her the FEAR OF THE LORD which is way more important and pleasing to God! I am teaching her how to pray for others and for herself. We worship God through song, dance and studying His word. And I’m teaching her how to manage a household in a way that is pleasing to God every time I allow her to help wash dishes, do laundry and clean the house. The experience of training her up in the way of the LORD has been bringing me much joy, confidence and hope that I am setting her up to have a good, Godly life! The feeling is so contagious and I wanted to begin teaching the fear of the LORD to Ajanni, Messiah and Jahir but I was afraid that maybe I had missed my window of opportunity with them because they are teenagers. But God said, it’s never too late for them to learn! Pursue!
The Holy Ghost has been instructing me on the ways in which I need to teach them. The major difference between teaching them versus teaching Empress is that our lessons come from conversations as opposed to an outlined curriculum. It’s more ministry than teaching. For example, a few days ago, He set the atmosphere which allowed me to minister to Ajanni on the importance of not having children out of wedlock. Another time, God surely did download an entire message/teaching for my son Messiah on righteous living and friendships through my wedding rings! I’m still amazed by how He did that! Jahir blew me away when he said Christ made atonement for us while we were discussing our plan to keep God’s appointed Day of Atonement for the first time.
I’m humbled that God trusts me; humbled enough to know that my plans alone are not good enough to complete the assignment. I need a Divine Engine to get this car to the other side! I plan, as an ambassador of Christ, for my husband and children, to make it into the kingdom of heaven! I plan to see them seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus! I plan that our heavenly mansions are next door to each other so that I can see their beautiful faces every day for eternity! I plan to do His will and teach my household the fear of the LORD! I PLAN and I PRAY and I DO for I know that “the heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps” – Proverbs 16:9 ESV.
This encouraged me today and I pray it encourages you too! Wherever you are in life right now, whether you are in the valley or the mountaintop, the wilderness or the city, I pray that you will allow God to establish your steps. And I pray that you will settle it in your hearts that regardless of where He currently has you positioned, you are in the perfect position to command yourself, and your household, to keep the ways of the LORD!